I took a hiatus, but not intentionally.
Over the past six months, I just couldn’t write. I had neither the creativity to express myself, nor the desire to do so.
This COVID crisis has impacted us all in different ways. My biggest source of ideas and energy has always been my social life, the people around me, and the conversations I would have with them. In the absence of that, during a time of solitude and isolation, I didn’t have the input and stimulus that I otherwise used to have. No banter, no bouncing off of ideas, no “yes, and” conversations that would allow me to expand my horizon. In some way, my creative idea-generating muscles weakened.
The other thing was that I didn’t want to express myself. I think over the past couple years, I have become a little more private, slightly withdrawn. That tendency was accelerated by the abrupt way I left China early 2020, which disrupted the flow of my life. In addition to that, a recent separation forced me to reflect a lot about my life, decisions, and objectives. And during times like these, when you are questioning so much about yourself, you just don’t have the foundation to be assertive about the ideas and thoughts you carry with yourself.
More recently, however, life has become more calm, and I have become more centered. I have made peace with where I am in my life, physically, as well as where I am in my life’s journey, emotionally. In parallel, I am refocusing on myself, on my goals, my health, and my relationships. I am putting my energy out there again, and get energy back in return. Because of that, my mind is spinning again, my idea-generating muscles are contracting, thoughts are forming, and the social energy around me, albeit small, is further cultivating those ideas.
So yeah, this was a long hiatus. But I am excited to be writing again, and to be contributing to this repository of thoughts and ideas that I have been nurturing since 2013.