Sometimes I notice my own spark in my eyes. Of course I can’t see it, but sometimes I feel it. I am talking about something, explaining it to someone, and I suddenly notice how I speak faster, how I smile while I talk, how I gesticulate with all my limbs.
I don’t think I always noticed these moments until someone once called it out “you are so animated when you speak about this topic.” Since then, I have become much more self-aware about when I am in that kind of flow. When my pulse is faster, when I sit upright or lean forward, or when the ideas are just coming out of my mouth one after the other without being able to stop myself.
Surely there are many different ways how one can find out what they are passionate or excited about, but noticing that kind of energy in yourself is possibly one of the most authentic and unfiltered ways to gauge your interest in something. It’s also something we are not really taught to do, in a world in which we often pay little attention to our emotions, and are constantly distracted by everything and nothing.
Similarly, I sometimes find myself watching a video on social media, and half-way through it I notice that I am smiling. Actually, I usually notice that smile at the end of the video when it’s over, and the smile on my face is all that lingers. These are always brief reminders that whatever that topic was that I was watching – a proposal, a baby video, an act of kindness – it’s something that touched me or that I feel positively towards.
Now you might say “but isn’t that obvious?” Yes, for some topics it might be obvious. But for other topics, this idea of “measuring your own pulse” – either via your heightened energy level or a simple smile on your face – can really help surface things that you are interested in, but that you didn’t really realize you were interested in.
Here is an example from my own life. I have always wondered if I want to have kids. And I always had a feeling that the answer was yes, but I wasn’t really sure. Then in the last few years, whenever I saw a video with babies, I noticed how I always ended up with a huge smile on my face, both throughout and after the video. Now I am not arguing that this is the ultimate validation of me wanting to have kids, but noticing my own reaction only reaffirmed that this is something that naturally delights me because that’s exactly what my reaction was to those videos.
You can make of this what you want. For me, it’s a really beautiful exercise in self-awareness while living in a world in which we are not always in touch with our emotions. Also it’s a powerful way to gauge what topics might speak to you, touch you, in ways that might not always be so obvious.